THE SEVEN WONDERS SONNET

THE SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD SHAKESPEAREAN LOVE SONNET
  
What could former wits of the old worlds say?
Even if Phidias had know you well,
How could he cut stone to your grace convey,
When serenity your banks doth o'erswell?
What son of Hyperion had your mirth?
What Pharos could harbor all of your light?
What Carian vault could entomb your worth?
What Babylon better your words delight?
What Temple of the Moon on Aegean site
Or monument rising along the Nile
Could ever canopy your frame in flight,
Or house or hold the bold winds of your style?
Character nine wonders to mend the book,
For your image commands a second look.

Chapter 15: NINE WONDERS

Chapter 15

 

NINE WONDERS

 

  

Otis and Euma arrived at the garden shed.  Otis thanked Mr. Mentor for watching Telly.
 

"Call the police, Euma.  I'm going to get Penny."   He pulled the hood of his tattered jacket down as low as it would go to cover his face.  "I hope no one recognizes me."
 

"They won't."  Mr. Mentor said, resting his hand on Otis's shoulder.
  

Otis felt a strange surge of energy.  As he turned to remind everyone to remain in the shack until he came back, he noticed Mr. Mentor was wearing the same gold sandals that the masked lady on the beach had worn, Athena's shoes.

 

By the time Otis reached the deck, his knees were creaking.  His face felt funny and his beard seemed to grow an inch with each step he took.  He reached for the deck rail and saw his hands were wrinkled and covered with age spots.  Either Athena, disguised as Mr. Mentor, had just cast a spell on him or he was having another flashback from the stuff his ex-wife, Circe, had blown in has face that afternoon.
 

Once inside, Otis could not believe what was going on in his home.  It wasn't anything like the poetry parties he remembered.  It was like a cross between a real estate agent's convention and a frat house party.  There were cigarette burns on the furniture and floor.  Someone had thrown the his and hers keepsake champagne glasses from their wedding into the fireplace.  His home was a wreck.
 

A tray hit Otis in the head.
 

"This ain't the Salvation Army, buddy!  Beat it!"  Antonio shoved Otis towards the front door.

"Ignore him. Penny said to be sure you get something to eat."  Eunice, an elderly woman who had worked for the family since Otis was a baby, stepped between Otis and Antonio.  She took Otis's arm and led him to the buffet table.
 

Eunice loaded a plate and as she handed it to Otis, she recognized a scar on his arm that he had gotten on a camping trip as a child.
 

"I don't believe it!  I'm glad you're home, but you look awful!"  Eunice cried.
 

"Eunice, go to the garden shed and stay there til I come get you.  We've called the police.  Do not tell anyone I'm here. Go now."  Otis whispered.
 

Just then, Penny called everyone into the library with the promise of the prize everyone was after.  Otis could not believe his ears.
 

"This is the deed to the house.  I will sign it over to whoever wins this poetry contest."  Penny stated flatly.
 

Professor Antonio stepped up and tried to take control of the contest by suggesting they each draw three words from a box and then each person must make their poem incorporating the words they had drawn.
 

"My deed.  My rules."  Penny insisted.  Otis was impressed by how she stood her ground.  He wished the police would hurry and arrive before things got out of hand.
 

"There are three rules.  Your poems must be based upon three things that I will pick at random from the books here in my husband's library.  That way no one can cheat."  She said, glaring at Antonio.
 

Antonio was sure he would win.  He was a professor who had gotten a real estate license only to take advantage of the real estate bubble.  Most of the people in the house were merely real estate agents.
 

Penny put on a sleep mask and spun herself around.  Then she walked forward until she reached a bookcase.  She selected the first book and removed the mask.  It was a book of Shakespeare's sonnets.
 

"The FIRST RULE is that it must be a Shakespearean sonnet."  Penny announced.  The crowd groaned.
 

Then she closed her eyes and opened the book at random.
  "Sonnet 59."  She called out. "The SECOND RULE is that it must ANSWER William Shakespeare's Sonnet 59."
  "Well, it can't get much worse than that!" someone in the crowd remarked.

 

Penny put the sleep mask on and spun around again.  She walk until she reached a wall of books and selected another book blindly.
 

"THE SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD!"  she shouted. 

"The THIRD RULE is that your Shakespearean Sonnet that answers Shakespeare's Sonnet 59 must ALSO contain ALL SEVEN of the SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD!"
 

"That's impossible!" One man yelled.
 

"Who can remember the rules, let alone follow them?!"  Another man complained.
 

Otis stepped forward and meekly asked permission to try.  The crowd howled insults and threw cheese cubes at him.
 

"Let him try!"  Penny said.  "At least he has the courage to try!"
 

Otis kept his head lowered under the raggedy hood of the jacket.  He frowned for a moment, scratched behind his ear, shifted his weight, chewed off a bit of cuticle, then clearned his throat and said these words:

"What could former wits of the old worlds say?
Even if Phidias had known you well,
How could he cut stone to your grace convey,
When serenity your banks doth o'erswell?
What son of Hyperion had your mirth?
What Pharos could harbor all of your light?
What Carian vault could entomb your worth?
What Babylon better your word's delight?
What Temple of the Moon on Aegean site
Or monument rising along the Nile
Could ever canopy your frame in flight,
Or house or hold the bold winds of your style?
Character nine wonders to mend the book,
For your image commands a second look."
 

Before anyone could react, the police rushed into the room, handcuffed Antonio and read him his rights.  The freeloaders scattered and ran to their cars.  Only Penny and Otis remained in the library.
 

"Well, I hardly know what to say.  I didn't think anyone could win the contest."  Penny confessed.
 

"Don't you know me?"  Otis told himself that Penny must have known he had returned.
 

Otis went to the shed and on the way his youth was restored by Athena.  Athena also held back the rosy fingers of dawn and made the night last three days so Otis and Penny could have all the time they needed to make love and mend fences.
 

Before they went to bed, Otis checked the closet and under the bed to see if there were any golden sandals.  He wanted to be sure Penny was really Penny.
 

"You knew it was me, didn't you?"  Otis would ask Penny for the rest of his days.  It was a question she never answered.  She would smile like the Mona Lisa and say, "I wonder where that old man disappeared to and if he is going to return to claim his prize?"

- THE END -

Chapter 14: COLD BLOODED KILLERS

Chapter 14

COLD BLOODED KILLERS

 

 

"You didn't see him fall, how do you know he's dead?"  Antonio was annoyed with Melanie.
 

"Telly loves his father.  I know he went down the steps.  I told him his father was down there.  The staircase is condemned.  The sign says forbidden."  Melanie whined.
 

"What if he's down there on the beach now, walking around and somebody finds him and brings him home?"
  

"There isn't any beach tonight.  The tide is high and the rocks are sharp."

Otis and Euma listened to Antonio and Melanie talk about murdering Telly as if they were talking about the weather.  It took all of Otis's strength to remain silent and hidden in the bamboo.

"I just don't understand why you didn't wait around long enough to be sure."  Antonio complained.
 

"I got frightened that someone would see me and there was this cat, a horrible cat that wouldn't go away..."
 

"We're not going to blow a multi-million dollar real estate deal because you are superstitious!  Take me where you left him!"  Antonio grabbed Melanie's arm angrily.
 

"I don't see why you are so upset."  Melanie cried.
 

"How am I going to comfort the grieving mother if she isn't grieving?"
 

"I thought of everything.  If for some reason Telly survives, I put the can of lighter fluid in his bedroom and I mentioned to the firemen that he is always playing with the fire in the kitchen, that I'm afraid he'll burn the house down.  They'll put him away.  That's what you want."
 

"I want to sell that house for triple what it's worth to a stupid popstar before the real estate bubble bursts." Antonio growled.
  Antonio and Melanie walked across the bluff to the site of the condemned staircase.  Otis and Euma followed from a safe distance.
 

"I can't see anything."  Melanie said, looking for any sign of Telly in the waves below.
 

"Penny isn't going to sell that house as long as Telly is alive.  I hope you were wearing gloves when you were planting evidence in Telly's room."
 

Melanie looked alarmed.
 

"Great.  They'll find your prints and I'm betting Telly's prints aren't even on the can."
 

"I'll remove it when we get back."
 

"That's ok.  I'll fix it.  Look!  What colour pajamas was he wearing?  Antonio pointed out to sea.  Melanie strained to see what he was talking about.  He shoved her over the cliff and headed back towards the party.
 

Otis and Euma were too far away to hear what had been said, but they saw Antonio murder Melanie in cold blood.

- To Be Continued -

Chapter 13: MY BREAD, MY CHEESE, MY WINE, MY WORLD

Chapter 13

BREAD, CHEESE, WINE, WORLD 

 

Euma, Telly and Otis froze when they heard footsteps on the pebbled path outside side of the garden shed.  Otis hid behind the door, ready to pounce.
 

"Having a private garden party?" Mr. Mentor entered with a bag loaded with food from the party.
 

"It's you!"  Otis sighed with relief and closed the door.
 

"How did you know..." Euma started to ask.
 

"No time for that now.  While I was in your wine cellar getting you some of the good stuff, I heard Melanie arrange to meet Antonio by the koi pond.  You have time to get there and hide behind the bamboo and find out what they are planning.  I will watch Telly."  Mr. Mentor handed the men some bread, cheese and the bottle of wine. "Eat something while you wait, you will need your strength."
 

When the men had gone, Mr. Mentor prepared a plate of hors d' oeuvres for Telly. Telly stepped back when offered his favorite foods.
 

"You are very observant.  I'm not Mr. Mentor."  The Goddess Athena smiled warmly at Telly.  "I am helping your father catch the bad men who burned your play house.   I know you like olives.  Look!"  She held out her hand with an olive on each fingertip.

 "My bread! My cheese! My wine! My world!"  Otis said with his mouth full. "You don't realize how precious every little thing is until you almost lose it."  Otis threw some bread to his koi without thinking.  The fish rushed towards where Otis and Euma were hiding.  Quickly Otis threw a large piece of bread to the other side of the pond.  Soon they head footsteps on the bamboo thatch.

- To Be Continued -
 

Chapter 12: TELLY

Chapter 12

 

TELLY

 

Euma, Telly and Otis sat on the floor of the garden shed.  Telly rested his head on his father's shoulder.
 

"What are you doing out here, barefoot, in your pajamas, my son?"  Otis knew his autistic son could not answer such a complex question.  He glanced at Euma for the answer.
 

"It is a bad story.  Telly should not have to hear such stories."  Euma said gravely.
 

"Take Telly to the house.  Tell no one that I am here.  Then return and tell me everything that you know."
 

"I cannot do that."  Euma got up and filled a watering can.
 

"What do you mean?"
   

"Telly!  How would you like to water those fancy flowers back there on the table?"  Euma knew Telly could not resist pouring water.  Pouring was one of Telly's favorite past times.
  

Telly jumped up and happily took the watering can and darted to the rear of the shed where the potting table stood.  He leaned so he could watch the water pour from the spout.
 

"They tried to murder Telly and make it look like an accident.  Melanie thinks Telly is dead.  She told your wife he is in bed sleeping."  Euma sat next to Otis again and whispered in his ear.
 

"Give me your phone!"  Otis cried.
 

"She doesn't answer her cell phone, yet you can see her through the kitchen window.  When I  phone the house phone, that Melanie answers."  Euma handed Otis his phone with twitter displaying an " #OtisSighting " photo someone had taken of Otis earlier that day on the pier.  Otis was barefoot, wearing the tux and holding their puppy, Polutropos.
 

"I think your wife might know you are back in town.  I was trying to call her to get her out of the house.  If I tell the police first, Antonio and Melanie might harm her or take her hostage."
 

"You are very wise, my friend."  Otis held back the rage that flared inside him.  "Tell me what happened.  Then I will go inside and get Penny.  You'll stay here and guard my son."
 

"I saw Melanie take Telly by the hand to the edge of the property.  I followed them.  She opened the safety fence and took him out in the tall grass down by the wooden staircase that broke during the last earthquake. She told him that the warning sign said that you were on the beach below waiting for him."  Euma's voice cracked as he tried to continue speaking, "I was only here because I forgot to turn off the automatic sprinkler so the poetry party guests would not get wet.  If I had not forgotten...."  Euma began to cry and could not finish the sentence.
 

Otis and Euma wept, overcome by what had almost happened to Telly.

- To Be Continued -

Chapter 11: EUMA DRAGGED OTIS INSIDE THE SHED

Chapter 11

 

EUMA

 

Edgewood and his friends escaped the sirens and drove the van towards the estate of their unconscious professor, Otis.  Along the way they they turned down the radio and drove slowly past the scene of an accident that made them all draw a deep breath and hold it.
 

In the center divider of the street, a motorcycle teetered like a see-saw on a branch of a great old pepper tree.  They were all but blinded by the many flashing lights of police cars and fire trucks.  A ring of yellow tape surrounded the tree.  Only officer Winterbottom was sullen and looking down.  His fellow officers we looking up at the bike and laughing.
  

Edgewood shuddered from the memory of driving off the road up the hill and landing in that tree down the hill.  He still had some leaves and peppercorns in his hair.  Just as they were almost clearing the scene, Winterbottom looked up and saw them.  Winterbottom turned purple, lunged but was held back by several firemen.
 

A loud crackling sound filled the night.  Police officers on the other side of the tree urged the boys to move along quickly.  Winterbottom was  unable to get around the tree fast enough to have the van stopped.  All vehicles were waved to pass out of the immediate area as a great limb of the tree began to split from the tree.  The limb split slowly and gracefully lowered the motorcycle to the ground unharmed.  The laughter of the firemen and police officers grew louder.
 

When the boys arrived at the professor's home, there were fire trucks there as well.  They tried to drag Otis to the gardener's shed in an upright position so as not to attract attention.
 

Euma, the gardener, was sitting on the steps talking to Otis's son, Telly.  
 

"Everything is going to be ok.  Your daddy is coming home and he is going to make the bad men go away."
  

"Otis is here!" Edgewood told Euma.  Euma was so relieved that he threw his arms around Otis and hugged him.  Otis slid through his arms and hit the ground with a thud.
 

Euma dragged Otis inside the shed and began trying to revive him.  Edgewood shifted his weight from one foot to the other and said, "He's asleep.  He had a long day."  Edgewood's friends apologized and said they had to run while they shoved Edgewood outside before he could say anything incriminating.
 

Polutropos worked his way out of Otis's jacket and scampered inside the house.  Penny's cry for joy echoed from the kitchen out across the backyard.
  

Euma was able to get Otis to sit up and gave him a drink of water.  The first thing Otis saw was the sight of the play house he had built for Telly burning to the ground.  Otis had built it from railroad ties so it would last a lifetime for his autistic son.
 

"That man set the fire on purpose! I saw him!"  Euma pointed at professor Antonio.
 

In the kitchen, Penny kissed Polutropos and reached for her cell phone to post a tweet on twitter saying the search could be called off,  that her puppy was home safe and sound.  She couldn't find her phone.
 

"Melanie, please bring these hors d' oeuvres out to the guests. I've got to take Polutropos up to Telly!"  Penny declared.
 

"I just checked on him.  He's sound asleep."  Melanie lied.
  "Oh, what a night!"  Penny glanced out the window at the firemen as they got the flames under control.  She reached for the house phone so she could call her cell and find it when it rang.  Melanie had ducked into the pantry and quickly took the battery out of Penny's phone so that it would not ring.  Antonio would be pleased.  He didn't want Penny to see that what was trending on twitter, that Otis was headed home.

      

- To Be Continued -

THE SEA SONNET FROM: POLUTROPOS/THE ODYSSEY OF OTIS

 

"Let be be finale of seem.  The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream."   ~Wallace Stevens
 
The Sea Sonnet

Methought I was ripe for Elysium,
For sea changes down in Poseidon's sink,
Foreplaying with fire, now banish-ed  from,
To watery grave by a vex-ed blink.
By the wreck of reckless son, Phaethon,
Where changling horses of Helios play,
Round and round that water king's blue mansion,
From such wonders did I argue and pray
To let fear fall down on this salty floor,
Whilst Diana undid the pall of night,
By mirror of her moon to see once more,
Unweaving like Penelope, to fight
Death, be and seem, final king, past scrutiny.
For thee, dread fire, my soul is mutiny. 

                                                        ~dame j e

The Sea Sonnet is one of several new Shakespearean style sonnets featured in POLUTROPOS/THE ODYSSEY OF OTIS.
The chihuahua named Polutropos has been cast to the bottom of the sea by Zeus as punishment for eating chili made from the forbidden beef stolen from the Sun God, Helios.

Otis is trying to get the puppy, Polutropos, home to his wife Penny and takes the punishment with Polutropos in order to save the beloved puppy. 

Poseidon (aka Neptune) helps punish them.
However, the Goddess Diana helps them by sending a guiding moon beam. 

The Goddess Athena also helps Polutropos and Otis survive the ordeal. 

Otis, like Odysseus, has always been lucky with the ladies.

Stay tuned for another new Shakespearean sonnet in the conclusion of POLUTROPOS/THE ODYSSEY OF OTIS.
 

 

 

Chapter 10: AND THE SIRENS SANG: IN MY WOMB

Chapter 10

THE SIRENS SANG: IN MY WOMB

 

 

Otis stood on the railing of a lifeguard tower to get a better view of the fire in his back yard.  Before he could digest what was happening, he was hit in the head by an object that few down from the parking lot atop the cliff.  The object was soft and cold but the fall was hard and the belly flop on the sand knocked the wind out of Otis.
 

"You killed that old bum!"  Edgewood's friends shouted.  Before they finished that sentence, Edgewood drove the van past the sign that said, "NO VEHICLES ALLOWED",  and barreled down the walk path to the lifeguard tower.  The boys parked the van in the middle of the bike path and ran towards the bum Edgewood had accidentally decked with the water balloon.
 

"It's the professor!"  One of the boys exclaimed while Edgewood slapped Otis's face and then gave him the Heimlich maneuver.  Polutropos barked, but Otis remained out cold.
 

"Edge!"  Another boy shouted in the darkness, his face illuminated by the glow of his cell phone, "'Otis Is Headed Home' is trending on twitter! He quit the book tour!  We gotta get him home this time!"
 

The boys decided to bring Otis home to Euma, the caretaker.  Euma probably had his hands full with the back yard being on fire, but he was the only one they could trust not to turn them in.  They loaded Otis in the van and headed towards the smoke.
 

Poseidon vowed to punish the boys for helping Otis and Polutropos.  The boys heard the tempting sound of new waves and saw naked ladies floating on surfboards, singing a corrupted version of a song by The Beach Boys, "IN MY WOMB".

 

No one on the beach was able to resist the sirens on surfboards, except Otis, who was unconscious.  The boys almost drove the van into the sea, but saved themselves by stuffing water balloon fragments into their ears and singing: "PROUD MARY", as loud as they could.

- To Be Continued -

Chapter 9: THE MASKED WOMAN

Chapter 9

 

THE MASKED WOMAN

 

Otis and Polutropos washed ashore near Malaga Cove.  They headed up the beach towards home.  Along the way they passed a private club that was having a costume party on the terrace.

 

A woman wearing a mask came down the steep stone path and motioned for Otis to come to her.  He thought he was going to be scolded for trespassing on the private beach, but instead he was handed a bundle.
 

"You'll catch your death in those wet clothes.  These are rags, but they are clean and dry,"  the mysterious beauty said.
 

Otis thanked her and noticed she was wearing the same style of sandals as the statue of Athena on the ocean floor.  In a flash she was already half way up the steep stone staircase.

 

Otis ducked into a cave and quickly got out of the wet tuxedo.  He changed into the dry clothes, tied the hood of the stained, torn sweat shirt and raced up the beach towards home with Polutropos safely zipped up inside his shirt.
 

In the distance he could see a great plume of smoke coming from the back yard of his home.

- To Be Continued -

  

Chapter 8: ZEUS SENDS OTIS TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA

Chapter 8 

ZEUS SENDS OTIS TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA

 

 

Otis opted to be punished with Polutropos for the crime of eating the three bean habanero chili made with beef stolen from the Sun God Helios' cattle ranch.  Helios requested that Zeus send Otis and Polutropos to the bottom of  the sea.
 

One minute Otis and Polutropos were sweating in the green fires of hell and the next they were freezing at the bottom of the ocean in Poseidon's Palace.  Otis knew there was no room for mistakes.  He must choose the correct path out of the water king's palace or they would drown. 
 

Poseidon made the matter worse by sending a school of catfish to trick poor Polutropos into barking.  Otis clamped the puppy's mouth and looked for any hint of light that might guide him to an exit to the surface.  Poseidon sent every glowing sea creature to swirl round and round Otis and the puppy to disorient them.  Otis looked down to avoid the maddening carousel.
   

He saw a statue of Athena on the sea floor and vowed to the Goddess that if he ever made it to the surface, he would never neglect Penny again.  Just at that moment, Diana, the moon Goddess fired a single moon beam that made a single spark on Athena's helmet.
   

Otis swam in the direction that the light had come from as fast as he could with one hand holding Polutropos.  He was very grateful that women had always liked him so much.

 - To Be Continued -

Chapter Seven: OTIS GOES TO HELL / POLUTROPOS

Chapter 7

OTIS GOES TO HELL

 

  Otis held Polutropos close to his heart.  There was a long, aching hiss that came from the direction of Dante's Inferno, the former hot spot of the South Bay Riviera.  Suddenly the mist turned green and without moving a muscle, Otis found himself gliding into the yawning doors of the condemned building.
  Once inside, the room began to spin like a whirlpool and there was the very loud sound of something chunky going down a great drain.  A huge disco ball violently swung round and round the room. Otis had to keep ducking to avoid being hit.  Stobe lights occassionally pierced the green air.  He soon recognized the voices of a fierce high school band called Charybdis singing, "Burn, baby, Burn, Disco Inferno".  When he caught glimpses of them, he knew something was up.  They had all died when their van drove over one of the steep Palos Verdes cliffs more than a quarter of a century ago.

  Otis and Polutropos hit bottom and an unearthly silence enveloped them.  There was an eerie canal where thick green fluid slowly sludged.  On the other side of this revolting river Otis could see many transparent people who did not seem aware of him or each other.  One of the see-through people was a dead ringer for his beloved Penny.
  "Do you see what I see, Polutropos?"  It was a rhetorical question, so Otis was mortified when the puppy grinned ear-to-ear like a Cheshire cat and answered, "Yes."
  Polutropos got the giggles and this really disturbed Otis even further, but he didn't put the puppy down.  He didn't want to have to search for him in this place.
  "Damn Circe!  Hell!  I'm having a flashback!"  Otis moaned.
  Circe had sent him to hell.  The spirit of the Prophet Teiresias appeared to Otis and explained that the reason the others seemed hollow and unaware was because they were mere PRE-IMAGES of people who would soon be arriving in hell but were not dead yet.
  Teiresias went on to say that unless Otis could get home in time to change the flow of events, Penny would be raped after the poetry party that very night and in a moment of insane despair she would take her life.  Otis recognized other PRE-IMAGES flickering on the other side of the eerie canal.  Professor Antonio, Melanie, the Skylla Surfers and the stranger on the beach who had warned Otis about the Skylla were all PRE-IMAGES.
  Otis was eager to leave hell and rescue Penny.  However, Teiresias indicated there was one more matter to attend to.  Although Otis had not eaten of the prize-winning three bean habanero chili that was made from the poached beef of the Helios Cattle Ranch, Polutropos was guilty as hell and must be punished.  Otis was free to go, but Polutropos was not.

- To Be Continued -

Chapter Six: BUSTED BY OFFICER WINTERBOTTOM THE CYCLE COP

Chapter Six

THE CYCLE COP

 

Around Catalina and Avenue I, they heard a siren.  The cycle cop, Officer Winterbottom pulled them over.  Edgewood always kept a box of donuts in the van in the event of such an event.  Like most of his ideas, it back fired and made the problem worse when the officer's flashlight illuminated the cargo.  

The donut box still had some left over water balloons in it.  Winterbottom would have taken Edgewood's freedom away for a balloon fragment.  The cycle cop grabbed a bear claw and announced that he had probable cause.  This time he had caught Edgewood red handed.

  "Who are YOU?"  The cycle cop eyed Otis, who was seated where Edgewood usually sat.
  "OUTIS!"  Otis said, which was Greek for "Nobody" and "Noman".
  "Where's Edgewood?"  Winterbottom demanded.
  "He's tied up, sir."  The boys answered truthfully.
  "ALL of you are in serious trouble!"  The cycle cop said as he ate circumstancial evidence.

  Winterbottom made everyone get out of the van and sit on the curb in front of what used to be a sports bar called Dante's Inferno.  The boys commented that the officials should have shut down the Jujube before the Inferno, that at least you could leave the Inferno without team effort.  Then, just as they feared he would, Winterbottom began to untie Edgewood.
  "I'll determine when, where and how much restraint is warranted."  Winterbottom let everyone know he was in charge of the situation.  "You're going to behave, aren't you, Edgewood?"
  Edgewood nodded yes.  He stole the officer's motorcycle and headed back towards the Jujube.  A thick mist rolled in rapidly from the sea and Otis was lost in it while everyone else climbed back into the van with Officer Winterbottom to chase after Edgewood.
  Otis and Polutropos stood alone in the mist.

- To Be Continued -

Chapter Five: SOME NICE NEPENTHE, ANYONE?

Chapter Five

NEPENTHE

 

  The outraged children caught up with Otis but were disgusted by the pitiful sight.  They vowed to yell at him later and make him buy their little sister a new kite, after he finished crying.
  Someone gave Otis a bowl of chili to comfort him but it only made him cry louder.  Many adult males gathered to discuss the possible meanings of a barefoot man in a tux crying on the beach at noon.  Cell phones were whipped out and the stock market took a jolt, all because of the fallen puppy, Polutropos.

  The stranger who had warned Otis about the Skylla Surfers happened by again and told Otis he must lower his head.  Otis took him for a seer.
  "Are you telling me that I am suffering this misery because I am guilty of the sin of pride?"  Otis was ready to repent.
  "I don't know you that well, " The stranger shrugged, "but if you look down you'll see that dog you've been looking for."  The stranger rolled his eyes and walked away.
  Sure enough, Polutropos was sitting next to Otis and the little dog had just polished off the bowl of three bean habanero chili bigger than he was.  He looked green around the edges but he was alive!
  It was going to be a long walk home since Otis no longer had his wallet.  He couldn't even buy his wife the Valentine chocolates and roses, but at least he had Polutropos.
  By and by some of Otis's former students recognized him and after a bit of conversation, agreed to drive him home.  First they would have to fetch Edgewood from the Jujube Rathskeller under the pier.
 

"We HAVE to go in there. Edgewood's our ride.  He's been in there for days and each time we send someone in there after him, we never see them again.  Nobody comes out!"
  "We have a plan!" another of the boys began to explain to Professor Otis, "When you go in there, don't breathe! You remember what Edgewood looks like, don't you, Professor?"
  "He was a promising student. Yes, I remember Edgewood."  Otis said the only nice thing he could.
  "That's him! He still makes lots of promises!"  One of the boys shouted over the crashing surf.
  "Don't breathe!  Don't listen! Don't talk!  Don't drink or eat anything! We just get the Edge and split!  Got it?"  They synchronized their intent and went into the breach with one mind.
  Otis went with them, but it didn't go simple.  The Jujube was very crowded and the smoke was so dense that it was impossible to see across the dance floor.  By the time Otis recognized his ex-wife's face, it was too late.  Circe was already holding him and giving him the ole contact high.  Her lovely hair defied gravity and seemed to float as if she was under water.
  "Have some lotus, Otis!"  She purred like Roger Rabbit's wife, then put her mouth over his and blew the smoke.
  Otis tried to spit it out.  He involuntarily squeezed Polutropos and the chihauhau released habanero fumes, which for the moment counteracted the lotus smoke that made men forget.
 

"Nepenthe?"  A waiter glided up with a tray of martini glasses glowing with the Egyptian elixir that took away grief and memory.
  "No thank you." Otis said.
  "Otis, show them what you can do with words, baby!"  Circe coaxed.
  "No, Circe! I said 'NO'",  Otis struggled as Circe pulled him towards the stage where red eyed poets with hoarse voices fought a vicious king-of-the-mountian battle of words.
  Otis concentrated on the chihuahua that he must return to Penny.  His eyes burned and he rubbed them.  When he opened them again, he saw a giant chihuahua on the stage, screaming free verse poetry.

"You think
I think
I own you.
Shut and come to bed boy,
I only want to clone you!"   The giant chihuahua said with much flare and attitude in the delivery.
 

Everywhere that Otis looked there was nothing but chihuahuas.  Everyone was a chihuahua.  He was afraid to check his own appearance, afraid to see a reflection of a chihuahua in a tuxedo. He avoided looking towards the mirrored walls.
  This was exactly the reason he had divorced Circe.  This sort of thing.  Her drug problem was more than any mortal man could contend with.
  "You're on your own boys!"  Otis shouted, closed his eyes tight, secured his grasp on Polutropos, quit breathing and headed for the door.
  "O God! God! Thank you! Thank you!" Otis gratefully gulped the sweet and salty night air while admiring his big naked human feet.  "We made it out!  O!  That woman!  Nice body, but her MIND! O!  Let's go home, Polutropos!  We'll walk."

  Just then the Jujube Rathskeller door burst open and out blasted the boys carrying their squirming quarry like a ramrod.
  The boys landed in a heap on the pier and struggled to keep their buddy Edgewood from escaping back into the Jujube.
  "You are NOT going back in there, Edgewood!"  the boys chimed.
  "Tie him up, man!  We have to tie him up until that stuff wears off!  He'll thank us one day!"
  They tied him up and threw him in the back of his van and drove down Catalina Avenue towards the Riviera.  The plan was to make a quick stop at Trader Joe's to get some carrot juice for Edgewood to help bring him around and then on to the professor's house.

- to be continued -

Chapter Four: THE ATTACK OF THE SKYLLA SURFERS / POLUTROPOS/THE ODYSSEY OF OTIS

Chapter Four

The Attack Of The Skylla Surfers

 

 

The Skylla Surfers beat the hell out of Otis and he came to on the edge of the Palos Verdes Golf Course wearing nothing but bruises.  The good news was that he found a large leaf to cover his privates.  The bad news was  that he found that he was very allergic to this plant.  It caused an awful rash with terrible swelling which compounded the difficulty of covering the essentials.

  As fate had it, earlier that day, in a mansion overlooking the Palos Verdes County Club, Nancy, a dignitary's daughter and three other debutantes, were soaking up the sun in the backyard and did not hear the gate buzzer in time.  The Artemis Laundry truck turned and left when no one opened the front gate.  The bikini clad, sunburnt girls crammed into a borrowed golf cart and took a short cut across the golf course to intercept the truck with its precious cargo of prom dresses.
  When they came upon Otis they gave him a lift.  Nancy told him that since he was on the market again, she would consider marrying an older man of his caliber, after the prom, of course.  Otis was used to silly offers by now.  He thanked her just the same.
  The Artemis truck was in sight, delivering linens to the Country Club, and yet it seemed so far away to Otis.  One of the girls would shout, "Hi daddy!" as the little cart zipped by yet another cart carrying many of the South Bay's leaders in government and commerce.  It seemed everyone was playing golf that day.  Otis gave friendly nods and encouraged the girls to drive faster.

  While the girls obtained their dresses, Otis slipped into the laundry truck and hid.  He found a tuxedo in his size, but of course there were no socks and shoes to be had.
  The trucks next stop was to deliver towels and table cloths to the charity chili festival contest at the pier.
  Otis was hopping on one foot then the other, desperately seeking cool shadows to walk in because the hot sand and cement really made his feet hurt.  He heard a familiar yelp and saw Polutropos glide by overhead.
  Otis spotted another kite flying by the pier and asked to borrow it to use as a lasso.  The little girl refused at first to make the loan.  Otis argued skillfully and just as she was handing him the string, he was distracted by the horrible sight of Polutropos tumbing from the sky.  For the second time in one day he lost a kite.
  Otis ran through the crowds and towards the festival booths to collect the fallen chihuahua.  In his wake there followed the little girl and her older brothers, all screaming for justice.
  Otis gasped again when he saw where the puppy had landed .He arrived just in time to watch the basket sink slowly in a great kettle of boiling three bean habanero chili.  A long line of people waited to sample the blue ribbon winning entry.  Otis sat in the sand and wept.

- to be continued - 

  

Chapter Two SIGN / Chapter Three THE ROSY FINGER OF FATE /POLUTROPOS/THE ODYSSEY OF OTIS

Chapter Two

SIGN

 

  Otis was  floating on a purple and gold cocktail barge, drifting in the vicinity of Seattle.  He had been on book tours for too long, had too much champagne too many nights in a row.  He wasn't listening anymore as the great literay agent, Kalipso, carried on, over the din of the live band and the thumping of the dancing passengers,  as to how she would make him immortal.
  Otis snapped a photo of the moon with his iphone and sent it to Penny via twitter.  He waited for her to send him a photo of the moon from the deck of their home in return.  It was a comforting ritual.
  Kalipso gave him a document to sign.  Otis studied the fountain pen as if he'd never seen one before.  The only reason he held a pen these days was to sign autographs, checks and contracts.  He sighed deeply when he noticed smoke rising from a chimney on the shore.  It brought back memories of the copper coloured fire light dancing on Penny's cheeks back when their love was green and growing.
  Otis signed yet another tour agreement without reading it.  Kalipso told him it was time for the reading followed by Q & A and autograph portion of the evening.
  "Let's get this over with before the heavy drinking begins,"  Kalipso was thinking of the night before when Otis was so potted that he signed his books using lyrics from THE DOORS: "Poor Otis, dead and gone...."
  Otis checked his twitter account again to see Penny's response.  It wasn't there.  He sent her a direct message asking if her sky was overcast.  His post did not go through.  It bounced back with the message: "Recipient not following you."
  Otis felt as if the full moon had lodged in his throat.  He threw the iphone into the sea.
  "That was my phone," Kalipso said dryly.  "This one is yours."
  Otis took the phone Kalipso had in hand and put it in his jacket.  He jumped off the barge and swam towards the shore.
  "You have a 5 am.  We don't have time for this!"  Kalipso shouted into the darkness that had swallowed her client.

~ to be continued ~

Chapter Three 

THE ROSY FINGER OF FATE 

The rosy fingers of dawn stretched across the morning of the last poetry party. He watched her from the beach and forced himself to be patient, to think of a proper way to reenter his world. Otis resisted the urge to to run to Penny. A man cannot circle the globe reciting love poetry to everyone except his wife and then after two decades just expect her to simply take him back into her heart.
The great poet laureate hid behind a lifeguard tower and watched his lovely wife supervise their son Telly leap about on the sun deck of their home. Telly was 21 but due to severe autism, never developed speech. Otis shed tears of remorse for all the years he had missed with his family and may yet lose.
"Professor?" Telly's special ed teacher, Mr. Mentor, put his hand on the sobbing poet's shoulder.
"Shhh!" Otis pulled the teacher from view. Lost in grief, he had not noticed Mr. Mentor coming down the beach for the morning's in home lesson with Telly.
Mr. Mentor was relieved that Otis had returned. He told Otis that Telly had begun having nightmares that kept his mother by his side most of the night and that these nightmares began around the same time that Professor Antonio began to linger after the poetry parties. Mr. Mentor believed it was Telly's way of looking after his mother, making sure she was safe.
Mr. Mentor felt that Telly knew Antonio and the others were eating his food, drinking his father's wine and that Antonio wanted to steal his mother. Mr. Mentor confirmed Otis's worst fears about Telly's nanny, Melanie. She was always telling Mr. Mentor how Professor Antonio would make such a fine step-father for Telly. Otis devised a plan to at least comfort Telly while he worked out a master plan of how to approach Penny after all this time.
When Penny left for the grocery store to shop for the party, Otis slipped past the nasty nanny, Melanie, by wearing Mr. Mentor's cap and jacket. Telly immediately saw though his father's disguise. They had a happy time on the deck while Melanie was busy in the kitchen making as many long distance calls as she could before Penny returned from shopping.
"Look at the fine kite Mr. Mentor brought for you to fly in the kite festival this year! It has a little basket to hold this beanie bag puppy that looks just like Polutropos!"
The real Polutropos scampered across the deck to inspect the basket for anything edible. The chihuahua was tiny and sounded like a centipede wearing tap shoes when he ran.
"You see? This Polutropos has a special job. His job is to remind you that mommy and daddy will always love you. Let's put him in the basket and give him a ride in the clouds so he can tell the angels to watch over you and mommy until I come home to stay." Otis went to the edge of the deck to motion to Mr. Mentor that it was time to change places again. He looked back and saw Telly was holding the toy chihuahua to his heart and watching the real one leave the earth.
"O NO!" cried Otis at the sight of his wife's beloved Polutropos floating high in the sky out over the ocean.
"Polutropos! Stay in the basket!" Otis was sure the chihuahua was no swimmer and even if he was, he would probably serve as some sea creature's hors d'oeuvre before he had the opportunity to drown.
"This is not the way back into my Penny's heart!" Otis ran down the beach following the wayward kite with its trembling, barking cargo. He was almost parallel with the flying puppy when a stranger on the beach warned him to go no further.
"That beach is the turf of the Skylla Surfers! Do not go there! They are very violent this time of year!" The stranger said.
"I'm sure when I tell them the problem, they will understand and offer assistance." Otis was optimistic.

- to be continued -